my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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