she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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