Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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