i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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