my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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