OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
