PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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