R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
