Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize