i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
