It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
