i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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