that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.