Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?