if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
