Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
