I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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