i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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