what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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