I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize