I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
