Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
His nipple licking is glorious
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
