she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
