scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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