I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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