Screwed.edu
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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