I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
