White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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