Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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