the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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