Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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