I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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