My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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