Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
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He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
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Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.