My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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