Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
