I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
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The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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