I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
