If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
