how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
