New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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