i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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