I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
