He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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