Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
