Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
