chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
