found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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