Nicole vs. Life
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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