Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
