Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
