I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
