dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
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I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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