This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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