i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
