Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
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i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
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You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.