I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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