do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol