i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
well you can't waste a boner
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?