What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
