Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
