her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
