The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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