Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
